What I Want To Tell My Grandkids
Paul Prather
4 min read ⭑
If you’re a regular reader of these columns, you probably know I’ve got five grandchildren whom I unapologetically dote on. There are three girls, two boys. Their ages range from 9 to 15. Three are teens now, which is scary on multiple levels.
Considering we live 50 miles apart, we spend quite a bit of time together. I received a text yesterday from my youngest granddaughter asking if I’d take her and her sisters shopping this week. Which I will, naturally, if we can work out a time that we’re all free.
That’s the hardest thing: finding time. The kids are always going 54 different directions, to school, birthday parties, sports practices, babysitting jobs. And I’m busier myself than I intended to be at this stage.
There’s never enough time. Even when we’re together, they’re trash-talking each other (usually good-naturedly) or shopping or buried in their phones.
But I’ve got important things I want to tell them. I’m older. I’ve learned stuff. I could save them lots of problems and disappointments.
Some years ago, I decided to write a book I’d call something like, “Things I Want to My Grandkids to Know.” I’d self-publish it and provide a copy to each of the kids.
But, as with most of the book projects I’ve begun, I started writing it with a lot of energy, then gradually let it peter out, and then … totally forgot about it. Recently, I happened across my notes, dated 2016. I liked what I’d said. I even added new observations.
So, here are things I’d like to tell my grandkids, revisited:
1. I love each of you more than I can say. Each of you is unique, funny and inspiring. Each of you is my favorite. No, really!
2. God loves you even more than I do. Trust him. God’s message is simple, but not easy: Love everybody, accept everybody, forgive everybody. That includes loving, accepting and forgiving yourself.
3. The best you can do is all you can do. Try your hardest to do right. Sometimes that will be enough, and sometimes you’ll fall short anyway. If you’ve done your very best, though, that’s all anybody can reasonably expect of you.
4. You can’t live your life in somebody else’s head. Never let somebody’s opinion of you define you. By and large, the human race is squirrelly, so what do you care what others think? There’s only one judge whose opinion truly matters.
5. Always tell the truth to yourself, others and the Lord. So many people try to be what they’re not and say whatever they think others want to hear, just to fit in or because the truth is uncomfortable. Some folks even lie to themselves. But the truth sets us free.
6. Be kind. And hang out with other kind people. Kindness matters more than almost anything else. Kindness is contagious. Nobody benefits from a jerk.
7. Don’t judge. You never know what brought folks to the state they’re in. Show mercy and grace.
8. The world doesn’t revolve around you. You’re an atom floating in an infinite universe. So be humble. Don’t imagine the cosmos will cater to your whims.
9. Yet you do matter. That’s one of life’s mysteries. You’re insignificant, but all-important. You matter to God, your parents, your siblings. You definitely matter to me.
10. Find yourself by giving yourself away, by serving others. (I stole that off Jesus.) When we look beyond our own needs, we mysteriously find our needs met.
11. Faithfulness is more important than looks, talents, money or intelligence. Fortunately, it doesn’t require any special abilities. Never give up. Keep plugging.
12. Be content with where you are and what you have. Striving for prestige or power rarely brings real peace. No attainment is big enough to fill up some sucking hole in your soul. If you’re not content today, you probably never will find contentment — that is, until you choose it.
13. You’re going to make mistakes, maybe serious mistakes. It’s inevitable. Everybody makes mistakes. Learn from your errors — that’s the key. Grow from them.
14. We’re all just passing through. In the scope of eternity most things don’t matter. Learn to let go of worries, of the past, of grudges. Hold all things lightly.
15. Don’t waste you time pursuing wealth. The Bible says it well: Even when a person has wealth, her life doesn’t consist of her possessions. So many things are so much more important than a nicer car, a bigger house, more bling.
16. Develop your soul and spirit. Go to church regularly. Read widely. Pray daily. Study art. Study philosophy. Study history. These pursuits will broaden your perspectives and enrich your years. As long as you live, always be learning something.
17. Avoid debt. Or at least minimize your debts. Live within your means. If necessary, do without. Everyone from Solomon to Shakespeare has warned that debt wraps you in its web and suffocates you.
18. Be happy. If you’re battling depression or a related illness, you may need medication or counseling. I’m not disputing that. But illness aside, a lot of being happy is a choice. In most situations, you can be just as happy — or as miserable — as you decide to be. Choose happy.
19. Be grateful. Gratitude protects your mind from despair. Discipline yourself to give thanks for something every day, in every type of situation. If your car breaks down, be grateful you’ve got two feet and can walk. There’s nearly always something to be thankful for.
20. Be generous — with your time, your love, your money. Live to give. You’ll become a blessing to everyone you meet, and you’ll find the hand of God working in your own problems.
Paul Prather has been a rural Pentecostal pastor in Kentucky for more than 40 years. Also a journalist, he was The Lexington Herald-Leader’s staff religion writer in the 1990s, before leaving to devote his full time to the ministry. He now writes a regular column about faith and religion for the Herald-Leader, where this column first appeared. Prather’s written four books. You can email him at pratpd@yahoo.com.
