Becky Harling
9 min read ⭑
“Praise isn’t some glib hallelujah. It’s our intentional choice to declare that God is good above our life’s circumstances. As we do this, the Holy Spirit quiets and soothes our fears.”
QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT
There's much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?
My favorite meal happens here at our home in Colorado Springs on Sunday afternoon. I usually make some sort of meat dish, a few vegetables, salad, and of course, ice cream for dessert! Our grown kids and their families gather at our house with their kids. I cook and they come. Our 14 grandkids tear through the house.
There are nerf gun wars, soccer games, or football games in the backyard, and there’s a child or two jumping off the couch or building a fort with blocks or blankets from my linen closet. It's wild but wonderful! I love it! After we eat, while the kiddos eat ice cream, we drink coffee and try to catch up with each of our adult kids and their spouses. We hear what work challenges they have or where they need specific prayer.
Sometimes, our catching up is a complete bust because one or more of our little grands are crying or perhaps fighting. That's okay. We're family and we love each other. Through the years of ministry, my family has been a priority for me. I grew up in a dysfunctional home, but I wanted something different. I longed for our kids to grow to love Jesus and have strong relationships with us. God has more than answered my prayers! I'm thankful that God redeems the past and gives beauty for ashes.
Harling Leadership
QUESTION #2: REVEAL
We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called "nonspiritual" activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?
One of the activities I love is traveling and exploring with my husband, Steve. One year, someone gave us travel tickets with a major airline. We could fly standby anywhere in the world where seats were available. Whenever we felt the need to get away, we packed carry-on bags and went to the airport to see which flights had extra seats.
Our favorite last-minute getaway was the time we scored two seats to Portugal! There we enjoyed hiking, walking on the beach, and visiting little coffee houses for amazing espresso. It was an absolutely beautiful yet impromptu vacation.
Costa Rica is another place we like to visit. There, we've hiked in the mountains and jungles, relaxed in the lava pools, walked on the beach, and rode through the jungle together in a splash Jeep. (We finished our splash Jeep tour of the jungle completely covered in mud—but oh, we had so much fun!) Traveling and exploring new places together has kept my husband and me close even in the pressures of ministry life.
QUESTION #3: CONFESS
Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We're just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?
I have struggled with anxiety my whole life. I'm pretty sure I was a neurotic little kid! I couldn't seem to find the answer to my anxiety and often wrestled with guilt over worry, which then made me more anxious!
Along the way, when I was battling cancer, a mentor of mine challenged me to praise God. At the time, I thought it was a dumb idea. Who feels like praising God when you have cancer? But I decided to try, and it radically changed my life. I learned to turn my panic into praise. It wasn’t a glib hallelujah but a genuine shift of my focus to who God is in my panic.
I've had plenty of opportunities to try this little plan while traveling overseas. For example, one time while traveling in Africa, we were surrounded by teenage boys pointing AK- 47s at us. Of course, fear rose within me. But I began to praise God silently. I started praising my way through the alphabet to quiet my fear. After 45 minutes, the teen boys dropped their guns and allowed our car to pass. I learned in that situation that fear and anxiety are stubborn enemies. But Jesus is "God with us." As we shift our focus to him, he calms our anxiety.
Praise isn't some glib hallelujah. It's our intentional choice to declare that God is good above our life's circumstances. As we do this, the Holy Spirit quiets and soothes our fears.
QUESTION #4: FIRE UP
Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?
I write specifically to meet women’s emotional, relational, and spiritual needs. Through books like How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk and Bible studies, I love giving women practical steps to lead them toward deeper relationships with those they love and a deeper relationship with God.
I know that many of my readers wrestle with anxiety as I have. This is why I love coming alongside them and helping them shift their focus to God and their relationship with him. Writing Psalms for the Anxious Heart and The Extraordinary Power of Praise was an extreme joy for me. I love how the psalmists dealt with their anxiety. They poured out their hearts authentically and then switched their focus to praise.
Often, women feel guilty for their anxiety. I certainly did. It was so life-giving to me to realize that the psalmists also wrestled with anxiety. David wrote, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your comfort delights my soul" (Psalm 94:19, NASB). Here's a secret: I’m working on a new Bible study on the Lord's Prayer that I’m so excited about! It's changing my life, so I know it will change the lives of others. Stay tuned for more about that!
QUESTION #5: BOOST
Cashiers, CEOs, contractors, or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it's God when it happens?
Oh, I love this question! I start every morning on my knees with a cup of coffee in hand and listening to praise music. There on my knees, I allow the worship music to prompt my praise. It’s there that I most intensely feel the love of God and the inspiration of his Spirit.
As I worship him early in the morning, the Holy Spirit brings my will into perfect alignment with his and he stirs up my creative juices. After I spend time on my knees, I open my Bible and journal about wherever I’m reading. Sometimes after that, depending on the weather, I take a long walk and just enjoy God's company.
Oh, it's delightful! He speaks to me and whispers ideas in a way I can't explain. After he downloads an idea, I spend time praising him for it and ask him to nurture the idea in my soul and then to use me as a conduit for others. When writer's block hits, I know I need to get on my knees again. I love the process because it keeps me absolutely dependent on God. No matter how inadequate I am, he always pulls through!
QUESTION #6: inspire
Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So spill it, which spiritual practice is workin' best for you right now?
My most-loved spiritual practice is definitely worship. I’m an early riser. My body naturally wakes up at around 5:00 am. It drives my husband a little nuts. I bounce out of bed because I can't wait to spend time with Jesus!
Although that's an ungodly hour for some, for me, it's my favorite hour of the day. I grab a coffee, get on my knees, put in my earbuds, and listen to worship music on my phone. I allow the worship music to prompt my praise. I pour out my love at the feet of Jesus and receive his love for me. His presence envelopes me as I worship him. I feel his delight and pleasure!
I recently told my husband that my early morning times with Jesus are when I feel most loved. After I have worshipped the Lord for a half-hour—or sometimes an hour—I open my Bible. I read and journal about God's invitation to me that day. My times with Jesus have become so precious to me that I know I can't do life without them. His presence has been so healing in my life!
QUESTION #7: FOCUS
Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources—lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff, too. What are three resources that have impacted you?
Throughout my life, there have been three major game-changers:
1. Being mentored closely by author Linda Dillow, who wrote Calm My Anxious Heart. She taught me how to prioritize the place of worship. She walked with me through some very dark seasons of cancer and healing from sexual abuse memories. She has been a treasure in my life, and I highly recommend Calm My Anxious Heart if you wrestle with anxiety.
2. Jennifer Dukes Lee's book Growing Slow: Lessons on Un-Hurrying Your Heart from an Accidental Farm Girl. I am wired to do everything fast. Jennifer’s book challenged me to slow down, savor an unhurried life, and trust that God is working and that his timing is perfect! It's a great read!
3. I love Pete Scazzero's books Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, and The Emotionally Healthy Leader. I listen to his podcast regularly. It is filled with so much wisdom. I absolutely love it! I feel like Pete and his wife, Geri, have strengthened my walk with Jesus in every way. I highly recommend anything they write as well as their podcast.
We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season—and tell us what it's done for you.
As I answer this, it is Advent. I am currently using Susie Larson's Advent devotional Prepare Him Room. I love it because Susie ends each day’s reading with a suggested fast. It’s not necessarily fasting food. She suggests things like fasting from self-criticism, fasting from forgetfulness, or fasting from comparison. The book has been a delight to my soul during this Advent season. It’s helping me to sort through different emotions as I keep my eyes focused on Jesus during this Advent season!
Susie journeys with her readers through the book of Luke, which I love, and looks at the gospel through the lens of Advent. Susie is very authentic when she writes, and I love her style! Each day has left me with profound thoughts to ponder. I've long admired and loved Susie, so this Advent devotional will be one of my favorites.
QUESTION #8: dream
God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?
I am dreaming about a podcast. I had one previously but had to cancel it because we were traveling so often. But now I'm trying to re-think how to launch a podcast to reach women most effectively. I love radio, but podcasting seems to be the new media for those in their 20s and 30s. My prayer is to get the podcast launched in 2022.
I am also dreaming about a parenting course that would go along with How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk. As far as what scares me, new technology always gives me a bit of pause. But I'm dreaming of a tangible way to disciple moms. If I write a course and can get it on my website, that would be a way to disciple moms and invest in their relationships with their kids. So many have fractured family relationships. Learning how to have connected relationships at home is a key discipleship issue for many.
I also am now under contract for two more books. I love writing, but it scares me to wonder whether the publisher will be happy with the sales. I can't wait to dive into all these new projects and watch and see what God will do.
There’s a reason the Bible talks about fear and anxiety so much. Research has shown just how damaging those emotions can be to the human body. While some anxiety is normal, prolonged anxiety can lead to frequent headaches, dizziness, and depression. It can also put you at greater risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, and even irritable bowel syndrome.
So what’s the Bible’s antidote to anxiety? King David found it thousands of years ago:
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?” (Psalm 56:3-4, ESV).
Something happens deep within us when we choose to praise the Lord in a scary or stressful situation. Faith rises and pushes fear aside, making a clear path for God to speak to us and lead us in his will.
So will we fear or will we praise? The choice is ours.
Authentic, passionate, funny, and biblical all describe Becky Harling. A bestselling author, Becky is a popular speaker at conferences, retreats, and other events. She’s the author of 11 books, including The Extraordinary Power of Praise. Becky is a certified coach with the John Maxwell Team and offers parent coaching. Through Harling Leadership, Becky and her husband, Steve, have ministered in over 70 countries. She’s mom to four grown married kids and Mimi to 14 grandchildren! She loves drinking strong coffee, hiking with Steve, shopping with her daughters, and playing with her grandkids. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.