Couple Wants to Set Realistic Financial Goals
Jim Daly
Focus on the Family
A weekly advice column written by Jim Daly, Focus on the Family draws upon a deep, abiding Christian faith to help heal broken marriages and troubled families, built on a foundation of “the power of hope and second chances.” Focus on the Family’s sound, Christian guidance gives readers helpful answers on how to navigate a steady path in an uncertain world.
Q: My wife and I just got married. We're working on setting realistic financial goals and sorting out our budget, but we're a little stuck on knowing how much to save (especially for emergencies). Do you have any suggestions?
Jim: Most married couples find out quickly that money can (and often does) set the tone for your entire relationship. It's either a source of stability or a frequent point of conflict. That's why it's critical for spouses to get on the same page financially — especially when it comes to the topic of savings.
As an example, maybe he believes they should enjoy life now and spend their income however they want. She feels they should put away as much money as possible for a rainy day. It's easy to see how that's a recipe for disagreement and tension.
But that doesn't have to be your story. You can avoid many conflicts by discussing your expectations and agreeing on a plan together.
How much money should you save for emergencies? That depends on how you earn it. If you make a steady income, consider at least three to four months' worth of expenses. If your income fluctuates from week to week, increase that figure to six months. And if you think you don't make enough money to save anything, try setting aside $25 a month. That may not seem like much, but I promise you it will add up.
The important point is to find common ground with your spouse and start small. Don't let your fear of not saving "enough" prevent you from getting started in the first place.
For more money and marriage advice, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.
Q: One of my biggest frustrations as a parent is getting my children to behave. How can I most effectively discipline my kids?
Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: First, understand that discipline is NOT about punishment — it's about learning, correction and modeling. Discipline requires lots of energy and patience, but that doesn't mean "absorb or tolerate until you pop."
It's important to remember that there's not one perfect type of discipline that works for all kids. Each child has different needs as they mature and learn. Here are four things to remember as you consider parental discipline:
1. Know what you're trying to teach — and why. What does your child need to learn? What is the moment like from her perspective? How can you teach him to make better decisions? Include these traits in your parenting tool belt: love, respect, boundaries and limits, grace and forgiveness, gratitude, intentionality and adaptability.
2. Empty threats create more work later. I've heard parents say, "If you don't come by the time I count to three, I'll ...." Too often they either: a) never follow through, or b) completely overreact. So, the child becomes focused on getting away with as much as possible until his parents lose their cool.
3. Your child should learn to distinguish "wants" from "needs." Kids need air, food, water and shelter. A smartphone may be presented to you as a need. It's not, so it's OK to say "no."
4. When possible, use "could" instead of "should." Most children see "should" as controlling ("You should stop that now"). "Could," on the other hand, is a word brimming with possibility. For example, say: "You could choose to obey the time limit we agreed on for playing on the phone, and have further opportunities to play later. Or you could disobey and lose the privilege until you regain the trust necessary to have it back" (make sure to define what "regaining trust" will look like).
For more helpful parenting tips and tools, see FocusOnTheFamily.com/Parenting.
Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author and president of Focus on the Family. He is also the host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.
Distributed by Andrews McMeel Syndication. Copyright © 2025. Used with permission.
